That is what I am taking from my PT session today. I think by going in when I did, I potentially avoided a meniscus tear. I do have a damaged/swollen/bruised meniscus, but my PT does not think it is torn. That is good. Very good.
I have lots of fun strength training exercises to do twice a day for the next two weeks when I go back. I can also do 5 minutes of running, 3 days a week. But I can also do some water jogging. And do my cardio on my bike to make up for what I am missing for the run. Oh, and of course I can swim. I just need to fill Coach in on all of this and see what he has to say.
Given this info, I should be happy, right? I should be happy it’s not worse. My coach is doing a great job reminding me to be positive. How attitude is a huge factor in recovery. He is even using smiley face emoticons! (I know right, Coach has used :) in multiple emails!!). So why am not happy? I wish I knew...
I can’t help but wonder if this is a warning of what is to come. I can’t help but wonder that this might not have happened if I just lost some (a lot of) weight. I can’t help but wonder why the right side of my body won’t just do what I want it to do.
Trying to stay positive is really hard when I am always feeling inadequate. Like I am not supposed to be doing all of this and someone is going to pop out with a camera and say “Surprise! It’s all a lie! You suck and your first Ironman was a joke! You can’t do another one as you weren’t supposed to do the first one!!” Staying positive when these thoughts keep creeping in - tough.
NOTE - I wrote this immediately when I got back to the office from the appointment. I debated on if I should post this or not, but I decided to. I am feeling better about things, it's just that I am a very emotional person. My goal was to always keep this blog 'as real as possible' and not just talk about the good and funny things that happen on this journey. There can be a very dark side to Ironman training and I am just in one of those moments. But deep down, I do know I will come out of this, better, and hopefully stronger. And not just my right knee.