It Could Be A LOT Worse

That is what I am taking from my PT session today. I think by going in when I did, I potentially avoided a meniscus tear. I do have a damaged/swollen/bruised meniscus, but my PT does not think it is torn. That is good. Very good.

I have lots of fun strength training exercises to do twice a day for the next two weeks when I go back. I can also do 5 minutes of running, 3 days a week. But I can also do some water jogging. And do my cardio on my bike to make up for what I am missing for the run. Oh, and of course I can swim. I just need to fill Coach in on all of this and see what he has to say.

Given this info, I should be happy, right? I should be happy it’s not worse. My coach is doing a great job reminding me to be positive. How attitude is a huge factor in recovery. He is even using smiley face emoticons! (I know right, Coach has used :) in multiple emails!!). So why am not happy? I wish I knew...

I can’t help but wonder if this is a warning of what is to come. I can’t help but wonder that this might not have happened if I just lost some (a lot of) weight. I can’t help but wonder why the right side of my body won’t just do what I want it to do.

Trying to stay positive is really hard when I am always feeling inadequate. Like I am not supposed to be doing all of this and someone is going to pop out with a camera and say “Surprise! It’s all a lie! You suck and your first Ironman was a joke! You can’t do another one as you weren’t supposed to do the first one!!” Staying positive when these thoughts keep creeping in - tough.

NOTE - I wrote this immediately when I got back to the office from the appointment. I debated on if I should post this or not, but I decided to. I am feeling better about things, it's just that I am a very emotional person. My goal was to always keep this blog 'as real as possible' and not just talk about the good and funny things that happen on this journey. There can be a very dark side to Ironman training and I am just in one of those moments. But deep down, I do know I will come out of this, better, and hopefully stronger. And not just my right knee.

Guess Where I Am NOT

Tuesday's Post. I guess I never hit the "Publish Post" button...

I am not at Yoga Steve. Why? Because I am still benched. Humph!

This weekend I was able to swim, which went fine. I was able to bike 30 minutes, easy, which again, was fine. My knee did feel a bit stiff and tight after, but overall it was fine. Monday, off.

Today, I chose not to go to Yoga Steve. I figured I should get my knee figured out first before I start trying to work on my poses. And I get to swim tonight, so that's something.

Thursday can't come soon enough for my PT appointment!!!

I'm Benched

For 2 days.

When I woke up with knee pain, I knew this wasn't a good situation. So I e-mailed Coach for advise on what to do.

Ice, anti-inflammatories, and stay off it for at least 2 days. Then I can swim. If it still hurts, or starts to hurt more when I walk, off to PT I go.

So I am sitting at my desk. Not sure what to do with myself as it is lunch - and I had planned on sitting on a stationary bike for 40 minutes.

Woe is me.

Oh, and Coach ended the e-mail with "Stay off it as best you can during the day. No dancing at night :)" It made me laugh, instead of cry out of frustration that this happening.

Stupid

I got my schedule from Coach. It's a so so week, some hard stuff - but lots. I am really working on my time management.

I went for my 60 minute run today. It wasn't great, again. I had that feeling going into it so I took it easy and concentrated on keeping my heart rate down and tried to work on form. Here is the deal - around 40 minutes, I felt something strange. And not in the good way. It kind of went away and I made it back to the office. My first thought was, this isn't happening. This is stupid.

Kristin and Jess convinced me to go for my swim, even though I was tired and something still wasn't right. I headed up to Wilson instead of CUA, because it was free and closer to home. I got there and the pool was empty. Not meaning 1 or 2 people per lane - but no one. Apparently the heater wasn't working so no one was allowed to swim. BOO!! Yet again Wilson pool disappointed me. I am just a sucker for a 50 meter pool. Stupid.

So I came home, made dinner, did some laundry, played my new game obsession on my iPhone, and tried to avoid what I was feeling.

Okay, want to know what I am talking about?>? My knee hurts. I mean, really hurts. And it has been getting worse throughout the day. I have been icing it, trying to stay off it, and just not freak out. Trying not to blame the fact that my diet isn't where it should be and therefore my weight is too high for the level of activity I am doing. Trying not to blame the fact that I waited too long to work on my running. Trying not just feel stupid about the fact my knee hurts. But I am worried and am really hoping it will all be better tomorrow.

Back From Vaca, Back To Work

(Tuesday's Post)

That is what the past few days have been.

• Run
• Swim
• Yoga
• Bike

I haven't heard from my Coach about my schedule, but that's because I just sent him what I did last week for my week off. I was just guessing, but I had a pretty decent idea. Except for doing 3 x 1000 straight for my swim. Not sure why I did that...

I miss vacation. I miss relaxing. I miss not working. If one of you 9 readers wins the lottery, don't forget the person who provides you blog entertainment a few times a week!

Not going to happen. Oh well, I am just glad to get back on a schedule.

Good Last Day

I have to say, relaxing vacations are the best. Today I should have run, but with this altitude, it wasn't happening. That's my reason and I'm sticking with it!!
However, I did go for multiple walks, which was great. A lot of people didn't understand why I would go on a ski trip when the thought of skiing makes my palms sweat - and not in the good way. But I am a sucker for beautiful scenery. This morning, after the fresh snow, it was perfect. And the sunset - I just missed it but the pink sky was breath taking.

So maybe not the best weekend for working out, but I am on a rest week, so I think it's okay.

Snow in Snowshoe!

Today got off to a slow start for everyone in the house. It must have been that glass (or bottle(s)) of wine last night...

Anyway, it was super windy and raining. Not great for the people who wanted to ski. Not great for the person who wanted the ski house to herself for a few hours. But Carolina, Sandy, Lindsey and I made the best of it and walked into town. Not sure what we were thinking as it was not a fun walk. The ran turned into snow, but we could barley see across the street to read the store names. Tragic!

We went back to the house, had lunch, made some cookies and watched the snow fall. Those that did brave the weather to ski had nothing but good things to say about the conditions and lucky for me - everyone left to check it out. WOO HOO!! So I spent the last bit of the afternoon doing my hour yoga dvd, sat in the hot tub for awhile (and it was snowing - LOVE IT!), and now about to finish this blog and read my book. All with some music in the background and snow falling outside the window.

Yup, feel free to hate.

Stupid Fog!!

So, I had an extra workout today. Not swimming, biking, running, or yoga - but due to driving. And my driving.

I slept in for the first time in a long time. It was needed and it felt great. Once I eventually rolled out of bed, I headed to the pool. And I discovered, the best time to swim at Wilson, 11 AM. I had my own lane for half my workout. MY OWN LANE! It was pretty sweet.

This was followed up by some frantic packing for my non-ski vacation at a snow resort. See, I have this irrational fear of chair lifts. I am 100% convinced if I get on another chair lift, I am going to fall off and die. It actually makes my hands sweat just thinking about it... But, I decided to go on the ski trip anyway and just not ski.

Moving on, of course it was raining for the drive. And you know what rain does when you are in the mountains.... it's foggy. Really, really foggy. Foggy to the point of NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE THE ROAD!!! And that meant some major heart rate spikes. Poor Mr. Shorty Shorts - he was a really good passenger. And I was super happy to have someone in the car with me.

Eventually, we made it to the house, then Julie arrived too, and we all celebrated with a glass (or a few bottles) of wine. YAY VACATION!

Well...

I didn't let yesterday's realization of my weekend diet get me down. However, I still had a crummy run. I know I am on a rest week, but I am also leaving on a little vaca tomorrow and won't have much time to get all my stuff in if I stretched it out as much as I probably should. Plus I felt so good last week!

But today, my run was crap. It was slower than last week and I had a higher average HR. My gait was off, my breathing felt forced, I just never got into a groove. I know that not every run will be a great one, but I was hoping for a few more good ones before I had a not so great one.

And thanks to facebook, I was talked into doing my 45 minute ride. I was dressed and ready to go, but just didn't want to. Thanks to those to talked me into my ride! It wasn't great, but it was.

So that was my day. 2 not so great workouts. But I have some time off and am excited to really take advantage of my rest week.

:-( To Me

So my post earlier today was basically my weekend catch up. I also mentioned my inability to manage my time right now. It stinks and I am totally feeling the negative effects!!

I addition to all the stuff I did this weekend, I also ate. A LOT! Yes, I have been super hungry since my workouts have picked up, including the need to have multiple breakfasts and snacks, however I think this weekend went a bit out of control.

As I said, Friday was beautiful and Mr. Shorty Shorts and I went to lunch. I could have made a better choice, but I went for the grilled cheese with tomato and pancetta, fries (but Mr. Shorty Shorts had half of them) and an adult beverage. I did have a salad to start, but I don't think that counts for much.
This was followed by dinner at Brooke's with Diane and Mary Elizabeth. We did play some Rock Band, however I don't think sitting and playing base on easy burns many calories. Or as many calories as I ate eating pizza, queso, and mini cupcakes from the Crumbs taste pack.

Saturday was a brick and puppy shower, but there were cupcakes with little dogs and Ninja stars, so I had to have one. We went for snacks later, and I only had a beer knowing I was going to dinner with Shannon. We had a great dinner, but I was still hungry and hour later, so we went for dessert - a yummy Bailey's Irish cream cake.

Sunday was spin with Rob, but because a lot of us had Monday off, it was the perfect reason to go to brunch. So to brunch we went. With a few pastry baskets to start, and of course a mimosa (what's brunch without a mimosa???) brunch was had.
On my way home, I stopped to get stuff to make chili and a little snack as the chili cooked. What was that little snack?? Queso and wine. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM!?!? And once the chili was done, I had to taste it (and it was good!!) but that was a lot of food - even after a Rob spin day.

Monday was a non-brick brick day. And President's day so I had off. My personal cook and I went to lunch, where I had grilled chicken and mashed potatoes instead of something fried. Good right? But after a trip to a museum, we met with another friend and a few drinks and some tapas. Of course, I WAS STILL HUNGRY and so we ordered some lo mein, crab rangoon, and crispy shredded beef. Crispy shredded beef - SSSSOOOOOOO GGGGGOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!!!!! But given everything else this weekend, not necessary.

So today, after breakfast number 1, we had a bday celebration and I had breakfast number 2. It's no wonder that I felt awful, fat, and gross during Yoga Steve. At the end of the practice while I was in Savasana, the final resting pose, I realized what I had eaten all weekend and why I felt the way I did. I needed to type it all out, out for the world to see (aka you 9 readers), so I know better for next time, or next weekend. I just need to do better.

Period.