I tend to do more than a sprint triathlon in a weekend training - 500 meter swim, 18.8 mile ride, 5k run (okay - maybe not the run part right now, but you get what I mean), really it's not that much for me. So why is this race so important??Well, last year was a really rough time. A smidge over a year ago is when the back spasms started. This was the first tri I have ever backed out of, and I hated making that decision. This has stuck with me, and I want to fix it tomorrow. I have done a few races since the spasms started, including Augusta 70.3 (which totally kicked butt!!), but they were followed up with a lot of pain and PT. My last massive spasms was over Christmas and I have been close to feeling them come back, but have managed to keep them to twitches (yay to biofreeze and Motrin!!).
But my main concern to doing full races again, I haven't been running. Why, because I am afraid. I am scared running is the reason for the pain and afraid to try again. Yes, I have a bad foot and knee. Yes, my back has been bad. But it seems to be better, but I just don't know. That is a lot of pressure to put on a 5k, but I am ready. I am tired of being scared. I am tired of being afraid of what is going to happen if I try. One of my favorite not-suitable-for-children musical lines is "There is a fine line between love and a waste of time", there is also a fine line between reasons and excuses.
Also, I want to do another Ironman. I really do. I want that feeling that I can't put into words, but smile every time I think about it. This year it wasn't in the cards, but maybe 2011. There are some amazing people talking about doing their first IM's next year, and I want to be there with them, doing the race. In 2008, I only did one 13.1 mile run, a handful of 10 milers, and a lot of maintenance runs, and I finished. I KNOW I can do it again. I WANT to do it again.
Will all be answered tomorrow? No. But I want to have fun, enjoy myself, and not be afraid of that pesky third part of a triathlon.
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