Anybody Still Out There?

Anyone still care what I have to say?? This has been by far the longest I have gone without blogging. To those of you who check regularly, thanks - and I am sorry.

Part of it is work. I am actually doing my job again. And been doing some travel where you have to pay to use the Internet. BAH! Stupid Marriott Downtown Atlanta!

Part of it is personal. I moved to a fabulous apartment and had to pack - and my unpacking process is taking forever due to above - work.

And part of it is because I don't have much to say other than how disappointed in myself I have become. Yes, 2009 hasn't been the best year. My first DNF, plenty of injuries, stupid stuff I let get to me that I shouldn't have. All the while feeling sorry for myself as I gorge on fast food, eat cheese like it's going out of style and washing it down with wine/beer. I am not in denial of how I have let myself become this way - I am perfectly aware as I gnaw on a piece of cheese and cry in my beer about it.

I realized that today is September 1. A year ago I was such a different person. Dedicated, goal oriented, nothing could stand in my way. What happened??? But more importantly, how do I change back? How do I go back to being focused? Cooking in my kitchen. Planning meals and snacks. Making workouts a priority. If my foot hurts to walk, fine, go swim. Work on my core. Do something else. It's really not that hard and I know that.

Sunday night I made the first step. I e-mailed Coach. He just rocked IM Louisville so I wanted to congratulate him. I also said I needed to catch him up on my year (he will be disappointed - so I am not looking forward to that part of the conversation) and share my 2010 goals.

Every minute, hour, day - I have choices. I need to start making better ones. I know I will still go for the slice of cheese and pint of beer, but maybe only 1 or 2 and not 4 or 5. I have gotten there before and I will get there again.