I have been avoiding this topic for awhile, but I always wanted to be very honest on this blog and I want to continue to be.
Sometimes, being with really REALLY fast, talented, and pretty people - sucks. As much fun as I had this weekend, once I got back, and I saw pictures and results, everything kind of shifted. These people are awesome people. Never make me feel bad about my size or speed. It's all a self confidence thing. And most of the time, I am fine with where I fit into the tri world. But I have never been surrounded by people trying to qualify for worlds, win the overall events, and multiple age group wins. Me, I was last. Sometimes it's just a bit hard.
Last night I went for a swim with Toby (won her age group on Saturday), AJ (just got back from Du worlds and came in 4th overall this weekend) and Jen (former collegiate swimmer, about to start tri's and swims back stroke faster than I swim free). I got all snappy half way through the workout and just couldn't snap out of a bad head space.
Also, how is it October 5th? What happened to summer when I was supposed to lose all my "I injured my back last year" and snowpocalypse weight?
Anyway, it's Tuesday and I did go to yoga Steve for the first time in a month. I managed to make a semi healthy dinner of whole wheat pasta and roasted veggies. I cleaned my kitchen (but not my living or bedroom). That all helped. Typing this out for you 7 readers helps too. I almost want to delete this post, but I also want to remember - that I can feel this way, and move on. Because I will, snap out of this and move on.