One thing I am really happy about is the fact I kept a blog for my first Ironman. I have the ability to go back and re-read how I was feeling, what I was doing, and how I was reacting during my ignorant bliss phase. I say ignorant bliss because I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I just read August, and man - there are so many differences and so many similarities.
One thing I have going for me this time around is the obvious. I am already an Ironman. Even if I don't finish, no one can take away the fact that I crossed the finish line on September 7, 2008 in 15 hours 41 minutes and 7 seconds.
Knowing that I am already an Ironman also has a downside - I know the work I put in last time and I just don't think I am there. The majority of the rides I did this time were much more challenging. So my speed is actually about the same, or maybe even slower, but on harder routes. However, I don't have those one or two 90+ mile rides I really needed for mental confidence.
And the 'run'. I don't even want to THINK about how unprepared I am to run/walk a marathon. Last time I had many more 2-3 hour runs. This time, just a few, and they didn't go well. But just as I bike harder courses, I have better running technique. And I am trying to remember and focus on that positive point.
So basically, I am all over the place. This stupid SI joint is causing some pain in my right hip and knee and it's keeping me from doing the training I need these last 19 days. Ironman is SUCH a mentally challenging event, and I know how important it is to stay focused. And I am focused. And surprisingly, mostly positive. But also unsure, and that is the scary part for me. I HATE the unknown - it's why I despise haunted houses, you never know when someone is going to pop out and scare you.
Anyway, I just needed to vent some randomness.